Decadent dinner, aioli recipe

19 Apr

Beef kebab prepped by New Seasons and (rather unsuccessfully) broiled by me. Steamed asparagus. And herb-shallot butter aioli, recipe bellow.  

Herb-Shallot Butter Aioli

  • 1 whole egg, fresh and from a trusted source
  • Juice of one lemon
  • Small lobe of shallot
  • A few sprigs fresh marjoram
  • Dash each salt, paprika, mustard powder
  • 2 sticks butter
  • 1/4 c olive oil
  1. Melt the butter and let cool briefly. 
  2. Meanwhile, put the first five ingredients in the base of a tall, narrow container. 
  3. Pour the butter carefully into the container, leaving a distinct layer of everything else. 
  4. Similarly, add the oil. 
  5. Let stand 15 minutes. 
  6. Immerse a stick blender so the blades are at the bottom of the container. Pulse several times until a pale emulsion starts to form. Slowly move the blender up and down until fully blended. 

I suggest you let this cool before serving, otherwise it’s runny as seen here. Put in a pint mason jar and refrigerate. Use within the week. 

If after refriegrating it’s still too runny, blend in more olive oil a tablespoon at a time.   

Low carb decadent breakfast

18 Apr

Potted crab, breve latte.  

 

What the lyrics to “All About That Bass” should have been

11 Aug

Like a lot of fat girls, I’m disappointed by Meghan Trainor’s summer hit “All About That Bass.” Jenny Trout has a fantastic deconstruction of how much better this song could have been. It could have been the anthem of the body acceptance movement, but it fell flat. So I decided to fix it:

 

Because you know
I’m all about self love
‘Bout self love, no hatred
I’m all about self love
‘Bout self love, no hatred
I’m all about self love
‘Bout self love, no hatred
I’m all about self love
‘Bout self love

Yeah, it’s pretty clear, I ain’t no size two
But I still shake it, shake it
Because I choose to
Cause I got a boom boom that is a joy to me
And I feel comfortable in my own body

I see the magazines, workin’ that Photoshop
We know that shit ain’t real
C’mon now, make it stop
If you got a body body, just raise ’em up
Cause every inch of you is perfect
From the bottom to the top

Yeah, my mama she told me don’t worry about your size
She says your worth isn’t measured with someone else’s eyes
You know I won’t be no stick figure silicone Barbie doll
And I won’t ever be sorry for giving this life my all

Because you know I’m
All about self love
‘Bout self love, no hatred
I’m all about self love
‘Bout self love, no hatred
I’m all about self love
‘Bout self love, no hatred
I’m all about self love
‘Bout self love
Hey!

I’m bringing booty back
Go ahead and tell them sizeist jerks that
But whether you’re a skinny rail or super mega fat
Hey I’m here to tell ya
Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top

Yeah, my mama she told me don’t worry about your size
She says your worth isn’t measured with someone else’s eyes
You know I won’t be no stick figure silicone Barbie doll
And I won’t ever be sorry for giving this life my all

Because you know I’m
All about self love
‘Bout self love, no hatred
I’m all about self love
‘Bout self love, no hatred
I’m all about self love
‘Bout self love, no hatred
I’m all about self love
‘Bout self love

Because you know I’m
All about self love
‘Bout self love, no hatred
I’m all about self love
‘Bout self love, no hatred
I’m all about self love
‘Bout self love, no hatred
I’m all about self love
‘Bout self love

Because you know I’m
All about self love
‘Bout self love, no hatred
I’m all about self love
‘Bout self love, no hatred
I’m all about self love
‘Bout self love, no hatred
I’m all about self love
‘Bout self love
‘Bout self love, ’bout self love
Hey, hey, ooh
Because I like this body

EPIC BEAST FEAST

24 Aug

Image

I turned 30 recently. To celebrate, I ate 30 species of animal. I also drank a LOT of sangria.

Aside from feeling like I need to lie down for a very long time, today was one of the greatest days of my life.

Here are the beasts that I and my guests feasted upon, and the form each took:

Anchovies — delicious Caesar salad
Crab — gluten free crab cakes
Clams — smoked clam dip
Tuna — tuna maki (Hawaii style with canned tuna)
Pig — bacon-wrapped dates
Cow — steak tartare with butteraise
Sheep — grilled marinated lamb
Goat — grilled curried goat
Kangaroo — Australian-style meat pies, which I insisted we call “Kangaroo Pouches”
Deer — Medieval style venison pie
Camel — ground camel meat kebabs
Buffalo — “Tanka Bites”
Ostrich — grilled ground ostrich with a sauce from Apicius (ancient Roman cookbook)
Pheasant — roasted whole
Duck — pâté
Chicken — chicken salad
Partridge — roasted whole
Quail — roasted whole
Snails — in the shell with butter and herbs (from Whole Foods)
Mackerel — smoked
Halibut — dip
Herring — pickled
Trout — smoked
Sardines — canned
Oysters — smoked canned ones made into dip
Shrimp — little bitty ones with cocktail sauce
Alligator — spicy jerky
Salmon — smoked, in salad, and delicious grilled
Scallops — ceviche
Flying fish — eggs (which we counted for the purpose of achieving a full 30!)

I also had ground elk, but we ate so much so quickly that I made the executive decision to not cook the elk, lest someone explode. Just in case someone challenges my beast count, I have some turkey breast in the refrigerator and I’ll try to get a nibble into my face before bed. No promises, I’m so full I really feel like I might explode.

I’m going to be eating leftover pheasant for lunch next week.

This is awesome.

Link

Earliest Definitive Evidence of Using Spices in Food

22 Aug

Earliest Definitive Evidence of Using Spices in Food

A 6,100 year old pottery find shows phytolith (plant microfossil) evidence of ground garlic mustard seeds being used to flavor food.

Food experiment of the week: almond milk “ice cream”

9 Aug

I like how when it comes to making ice cream, the paleo types and the vegan types somehow manage to find common ground.

After that amazing but OMG DAIRY FILLED squash casserole, I thought I’d try my hand at a really simple dairy free ice cream solution, store-bought almond milk. I know intellectually that this is about the worst possible non dairy ice cream base. There’s a reason most of us rely on coconut milk, and that reason is creamy, creamy fat. But I have a LOT of cartons of unsweetened almond milk in the house because I use it for so many things (including many of my medieval food adventures) that I figured it was at least worth a try.

So: can you make passable ice cream using commercial almond milk?

Answer: …sort of.

Chocolate and Peanut Butter Almond Milk Ice Cream

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups unsweetened almond milk
  • 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • Sweetener of choice to taste — I used a whopping 4 T of palm sugar, pushing this right out of the healthy zone and into “planned indulgence”
  • Pinch salt
  • Optional: vanilla extract (be warned the alcohol content can impact freezing)
  • Optional: giant heaping blob of nut butter of choice. I used peanut butter, because I have made peace with the fact that I am not going to give up the Devil’s Legume, but a better choice would be almond butter.

Recipe:

  1. Pre-freeze your ice cream maker according to the manufacturer’s directions. Mine has to be frozen for 24 hours prior to making ice cream, so I just always store it in my freezer.
  2. Place first five ingredients in a mason jar, put on the lid, and shake it like you mean it.
  3. Freeze according to your machine’s instructions.
  4. When nearly frozen, add nut butter of choice and let mix until “swirled” in.

As predicted, this didn’t have a very good texture. I suspect that there are some simple fixes, like adding chia seeds or even gelatin to bulk up the ice cream base, but really, the better option is to just use high-fat coconut milk or even homemade almond milk (which tends to have more fat than the store bought stuff). It was, however, pleasantly chocolatey, and the peanut butter was really good.

I may do some experimentation with hazelnut milk next. Hazelnut milk is one of life’s great pleasures, and I think hazelnut milk chocolate ice cream has the potential to be AMAZING. I could even add hazelnut butter to it for some extra oomph.

Link

Paleo Buttermilk Biscuits?!?!

8 Aug

Paleo Buttermilk Biscuits?!?!

This I have to try!

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